Britney Spears Is "Embarrassed" Of Her Past, Cries Herself To Sleep

BY Erika Marie 3.1K Views
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Britney Spears
The singer says people make their lives seem perfect online but for her, she's still adjusting.

Just when Britney Spears was easing into life outside of the conservatorship that ruled her very existence for over a decade, the music icon was dealt another blow when her ex-husband attempted to paint her in a negative light. Spears has recently been taking to social media to air her family's dirty laundry after years of silence, and although it has made for some epic social media moments, it has also been a therapeutic release for the singer. However, recently Spears engaged in a spat with her ex-husband Kevin Federline who decided to post years-old videos of the singer arguing with her two sons.

The controversy landed Spears and her family back in headlines after after taking some time for reflection, the hitmaker returned with a lengthy Instagram caption where she spoke about her insecurities.

Ethan Miller / Staff / Getty Images

Spears said that social media makes it seem as if everyone's life is perfect while she struggles with the shame and embarrassment of her past.

"And who can forget those documentaries ??? So yes, I do try and post me looking my best or what it may seem to be the good life," she wrote. "Well the truth is, my spirits are better but I will forever be traumatized by my past experience for life  … there is no way to fix me, my emotions and my sensitivity … therapy, all of it !!! I think I will need some sort of miracle for my emotions. My life is by no means picture perfect … I cry myself to sleep most night."

She added that although she is a performer, she struggles with things like posing for photos or walking appropriately. People see her for the "act" that she provides on stage, but in real life, she doesn't have a "clue" what to do.

Read through the entirety of her message below.


About The Author
Since 2019, Erika Marie has worked as a journalist for HotNewHipHop, covering music, film, television, art, fashion, politics, and all things regarding entertainment. With 20 years in the industry under her belt, Erika Marie moved from a writer on the graveyard shift at HNHH to becoming a Features Editor, highlighting long-form content and interviews with some of Hip Hop’s biggest stars. She has had the pleasure of sitting down with artists and personalities like DJ Jazzy Jeff, Salt ’N Pepa, Nick Cannon, Rah Digga, Rakim, Rapsody, Ari Lennox, Jacquees, Roxanne Shante, Yo-Yo, Sean Paul, Raven Symoné, Queen Naija, Ryan Destiny, DreamDoll, DaniLeigh, Sean Kingston, Reginae Carter, Jason Lee, Kamaiyah, Rome Flynn, Zonnique, Fantasia, and Just Blaze—just to name a few. In addition to one-on-one chats with influential public figures, Erika Marie also covers content connected to the culture. She’s attended and covered the BET Awards as well as private listening parties, the Rolling Loud festival, and other events that emphasize established and rising talents. Detroit-born and Long Beach (CA)-raised, Erika Marie has eclectic music taste that often helps direct the interests she focuses on here at HNHH. She finds it necessary to report on cultural conversations with respect and honor those on the mic and the hardworking teams that help get them there. Moreover, as an advocate for women, Erika Marie pays particular attention to the impact of femcees. She sits down with rising rappers for HNHH—like Big Jade, Kali, Rubi Rose, Armani Caesar, Amy Luciani, and Omerettà—to gain their perspectives on a fast-paced industry.

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