Fantasia Regrets Suicide Attempt: "I Just Wanted To Be Away From All The Noise"

BY Erika Marie 25.2K Views
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Fantasia
She doesn't consider the experience an attempt to kill herself.

It was nine years ago when news began to circulate that singer Fantasia had been hospitalized following an overdose. The American Idol winner's rise to fame was well-documented for reality show audiences, but her troubles were also reported on in the media. There were rumors about tensions with her label, court drama with her boyfriend and his estranged wife, and financial struggles. All Fantasia wanted to do was share her gift of song with the world, but at every turn there were obstacles.

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The singer was featured on an episode of Behind the Music back in 2010 just months after she attempted suicide. "I didn't have any fight in me," she said. "I didn't care about anything. I just wanted out. At that moment I wanted out. I wanted it to be over with — all of it, all of that sh*t." She added, "I just sat in the closet and looked at the mirror and took all the pills in the bottle. I wanted to go to sleep and just be at peace. I knew exactly what I was doing. You can't accidentally take a whole bottle of pills."

Nearly a decade later, Fantasia's entire life has changed for the better. The married mother recently released her latest album Sketchbook and is currently headlining a tour with Robin Thicke, Tank, and The Bonfyre. On Tuesday, Fantasia sat down with the ladies of The Real and was asked if there was a moment in her life that she wishes she could change.

 

"Oh man," she began. After some careful thought, she answered, "When I tried to just get away from the world. Some will say commit suicide. I didn't think it was me trying to kill myself. I just wanted to be away from all the noise. If I could do that over, I would."

In October, Fantasia chatted with us exclusively and spoke about how far she's come. "I think [people meet me and] think, 'There's no way in hell after all she's been through, that she can be this nice," she said with a laugh. "One thing I will never, ever lose, is my humility. I will never, ever lose the fact that I'm just like you. I'm just like you. [The difference is] I just sing. I drive my own car. I shop for my own groceries. I cook my own food. Nothing will ever change about me."

 


About The Author
Since 2019, Erika Marie has worked as a journalist for HotNewHipHop, covering music, film, television, art, fashion, politics, and all things regarding entertainment. With 20 years in the industry under her belt, Erika Marie moved from a writer on the graveyard shift at HNHH to becoming a Features Editor, highlighting long-form content and interviews with some of Hip Hop’s biggest stars. She has had the pleasure of sitting down with artists and personalities like DJ Jazzy Jeff, Salt ’N Pepa, Nick Cannon, Rah Digga, Rakim, Rapsody, Ari Lennox, Jacquees, Roxanne Shante, Yo-Yo, Sean Paul, Raven Symoné, Queen Naija, Ryan Destiny, DreamDoll, DaniLeigh, Sean Kingston, Reginae Carter, Jason Lee, Kamaiyah, Rome Flynn, Zonnique, Fantasia, and Just Blaze—just to name a few. In addition to one-on-one chats with influential public figures, Erika Marie also covers content connected to the culture. She’s attended and covered the BET Awards as well as private listening parties, the Rolling Loud festival, and other events that emphasize established and rising talents. Detroit-born and Long Beach (CA)-raised, Erika Marie has eclectic music taste that often helps direct the interests she focuses on here at HNHH. She finds it necessary to report on cultural conversations with respect and honor those on the mic and the hardworking teams that help get them there. Moreover, as an advocate for women, Erika Marie pays particular attention to the impact of femcees. She sits down with rising rappers for HNHH—like Big Jade, Kali, Rubi Rose, Armani Caesar, Amy Luciani, and Omerettà—to gain their perspectives on a fast-paced industry.

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